5 Things I Said Before I Became a Teacher That Are Complete Bull

(5) Then - My students will all love each other and I will leave every day knowing they love me. 
Now - Will the kids leave every day knowing I love them?  Yes.  But will they always love me?  I'm afraid not.  And I'm okay with that.

(4) Then - I don't need to give grades.  Rubrics are the best.
Now - Ain't nobody got time for that.  Rubrics are great for big projects and assessments.  But for the every day math worksheet?  Sometimes a 5 out of 5 or a checkmark {or the recycling bin} is all I can manage.

(3) Then - I will spend at least an hour on each subject and I will set a timer so I don't run over.
Now - Oy.  Scheduling is the bane of my existence.  I barely have time for 50 minutes per subject.  And who has time to set a timer?!  And what if I remember to set one and the timer goes off and I'm not finished?  AH!  An hour-ish and miniiiii lessons will have to do.

(2) Then - I will differentiate every lesson I teach to make sure I reach every student.
Now - I will make sure my lesson is heard/seen/experienced by as many students as possible.  I will make it as engaging as possible, and when I see fit, I will differentiate.  Right there.  On the spot.  But not always before the lesson or on the weekends.  Because there are only 24 hours in a day people.

(1) Then - I will return all tests, papers, and work within three days of completion and with thorough feedback.
Now - HA!  Haahahhaha! HA!

Have any more to add?  Leave them below in the comments!